I Hate You But I Love You
by AnimeWolfGirl9
Summary: When a slip up on a mission leaves Yu and Mitsuba separated from the rest of the group, she is forced to realize that her dislike for the boy has turned into something else. (Yu X Mitsuba)


**Disclaimer: I own nothing from Seraph of the End and everything belongs to their respective owners.**

Note: This is dedicated to Shadechu Nightray, who requested something like this. Hope you enjoy!

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I Hate You But I Love You

Mitsuba knew very well that one mistake could have a drastic effect on a mission. She had seen and suffered the consequences of it before; the event forming the desire to stop it from repeating at all costs. She hadn't followed the formation before, but she would do it for all other missions, and make sure that others didn't make the same mistake as she had. Apparently Hyakuya Yuichiro had a death wish.

"If you would have just stayed in formation, then this wouldn't have happened!" The blonde girl shouted at his back from where he was walking in front of her. The frustration that was pent up inside of her caused her to stamp her boot onto the ground harder than necessary, leaving a very deep footprint that would be hard to erase.

"Will you please shut up about the formation?!" the black-haired boy in front of her was irritated as well. She could practically feel the emotion radiating off of him. "And how is any of this my fault anyway?!"

"You're the one that broke formation-"

"Again with the formation?!" Yu interrupted her, but she raised her voice louder, ignoring his remark.

"-got ambushed by the monsters, and fell down the crater!" The blonde finally finished, adding another foot stomp as she stopped walking.

The Shinoa Squad had been assigned to a routine patrol, an exercise that was supposed to build teamwork while cutting down the number of apocalyptic monsters that inhabited the area around the Japanese Imperial Demon Army's main base. It was supposed to be a chance to bond and practice their skills in real combat. It was supposed to be quick and easy. _Unless you're teamed up with him._

Around the third group of monsters, Yuichiro had decided that they would be able to rush through the job. He would have been fine, other than the fact that he had broken formation and walked into a trap. Several of the Horsemen had teamed up against them, breaking the ground beneath the sword-wielder.

"Why did you even come after me then?" The black-haired boy stopped suddenly and turned around, confusion and anger mixed together on his face. The action surprised her and she felt a small spark of pain in her chest at this.

He had repeated the one thing that she was trying to figure out as well. She wouldn't give up on denying it though. "What do you mean by that?" Her gaze drifted to the side as she pretended to focus on something else.

"You were far enough from the crater that you would have been fine. Why did you purposefully get closer and follow me before the exit was sealed?" his green gaze drilled into her as she felt herself inwardly squirm under it. She wouldn't give in; she wouldn't give him the satisfaction he most likely wanted.

"The ground quaked at a further range than you thought. I simply got dragged into it," Mitsuba walked past the boy at a brisk pace, not looking as she passed him. "And besides, even if I wouldn't have fallen in, someone would have had to follow and make sure you didn't get yourself killed."

The blonde knew that she wasn't telling the entire truth. The black-haired boy was correct – she wouldn't let him know though – in the fact that she had followed him. When she had seen him falling through the ground, something in her had stirred her to follow after his falling form.

"I can take care of myself," he muttered as she passed, but she tried to ignore it. She felt the fire in her fade, and by the way Yu had mumbled, she was pretty sure he was done fighting for the moment too.

 _Good. We have more important things to worry about right now._ "We have to find a way to get out of here." Her gaze focused on the many underground tunnels spread in front of them. They had fallen into one of the main chambers of an old underground tram. This meant that they had several options to leave by. Unfortunately for them, most of the tunnels they had checked so far were either caved in or dead-ends.

"We're getting nowhere like this," another irritated murmur from the boy behind her caused her to turn around. A slight gust came from behind her, rustling her skirts as she stared at the boy. He had drawn his sword, eyes narrowed as he looked at the tunnels around them.

For as long as she had known Hyakuya Yuichiro, he seemed like a very rush-ahead-without-thinking kind of guy. Yes, he showed care towards his comrades, but once he was focused on a goal, he wouldn't leave it alone. This seemed to be one of those moments. Her purple eyes stared at his weapon, the motions he was taking, and quickly came to a conclusion.

"What are you doing?! If you cave this place in, we could die and our friends could get trapped down here too!" She shouted at him, running at him with the full intent of stopping his course of action. The girl realized that she was too late and his sword swung, sending out a small shockwave.

Her hands covered her head as she prepared for the coming breakage of ground from above. Except… after several long moments of silence, the cave-in never came. Instead, she looked behind her at the monster that had been lurking on the wall.

"Watch your back. There could be more of them." Yu moved in front of her and she suddenly realized what he had done: he had saved her. _Again._

"Ah, of course." She summoned her axe as she followed him, not sure of what to say. The last time she had tried to thank him hadn't gone so well.

 _All thanks to Shinoa and her 'storytelling.' What was she thinking, pairing me with him?_ Her thoughts wandered back to that day as she took a glance at the monster that Yu had destroyed. It looked like some sort of mutant lizard, but it was now charred from the fire that had been emitted from the demon sword.

Still, some part of her ached at the contradicting thought. _I've never been in love before, so…_

"You alright? That last one didn't get to you, right?" Yu's sudden comment about her wellbeing startled her out of her divided thoughts. He had stopped walking and was looked back at her; most likely she had shown some sort of emotion on her face to cause his response.

"I-I'm fine," she cursed the small stutter in her speech as she took another hallway without waiting for his opinion. "We should keep looking for the others."

Shinoa, Kimizuki, and Yoichi had all spread out to find the outer entrance to the tram station, one that would lead the two trapped inside back out. Of course it would take time; the tunnels branched out in many different directions, but they would make it out eventually.

Everything was silent except for the echo of their footsteps. Mitsuba kept her thoughts silent as well, wanting to pay attention to the task at hand. When Yu spoke up, his voice sounded very loud in the empty space. "Shinoa said that you have a dark past, just like me." His words were solemn, causing her to curse the purple-haired girl once again.

 _Why is it really so bad if he knows?_ The thought caused her to almost stop walking again. Really, why did she think it would be that bad? Did she think he would laugh or tease her about the fact that she had been the one to break formation when she was always preaching to the others about it?

"I had an old squad I used to patrol with," the words flowed from her mouth as she recounted the events, her tone even. It was like she couldn't stop even if she wanted to. "I was the youngest, least experienced person in the group. I was a lot like you, actually."

Yu stayed silent at her comment, which was another shock, but she continued regardless. "One day on patrol, we ran into a strong group of monsters. There was only the five of us and no way to contact backup. Everyone was doing the best that they could but… we started to have trouble. The monsters just kept coming and we couldn't retreat. We were worn out and eventually, everyone was getting picked off, one by one."

She paused at the memory, hurt starting to consume her. But she had gotten this far, she had to force herself to continue.

"I-I broke the formation, trying to save one of the others, but the monster… it was going to kill me and then the squad leader jumped in…" Mitsuba knew that she couldn't recount any of the more fine details that haunted her dreams. She looked towards the concrete ground as she walked, bangs falling to cover her eyes. "I had to watch them die… and all because I made a mistake."

Her words hung in the air, leaving a fading echo through the tunnels. The silence threatened to crush her, and then… "I'm sorry," two simple words changed that. They forced her to look at him and the pained look on his face… "I escaped from the vampire city, but not before I had to watch my family die, all of them in front of me."

His hand clenched into a fist and she felt as though she could watch the scene reflected in his gaze. "I was the only one that survived, but they all died because I wasn't strong enough to protect them."

The pain in her chest continued to grow as she watched him. "I'm sorry as well," she whispered, knowing that it wasn't enough to erase his pain. Having to go through that… they were more similar than she had first thought.

Silence welled up between them again as she bit her lip. What more could she say? What besides revenge would erase his pain? Would that even be enough? Her gaze trailed over to him, worrying.

The blonde girl opened her mouth, intent on saying more, on trying to ease his pain, but his posture stiffened. His gaze was cast towards the walls, darting around them. She realized that they were in another round corridor, with several more tunnels branching off.

"This is bad," her words came out as a whisper when she realized the situation they had walked into. Hundreds of the small, lizard-like monsters were lining the walls, their pale eyes watching. The creatures seemed to move like a hive, shifting every few seconds as they watched the two.

Yu's eyes were wide as he retrieved his sword from its hilt again. The motion caused several of the creatives to lunge towards them. A swing was all it took to disperse them, but this enraged the others. The swarm made its way towards them, blocking off any exits. They cut into her skin, fast and sharp as she swung her axe around.

Her black-haired companion didn't seem to be fairing any better. She saw blood splattering the dark shapes on the wall, but she wasn't sure if it was from the monsters or him.

Fifteen seconds into the fight, Mitsuba felt a panic attack coming on. _It's just like last time. There's no escape,_ the creatures continued their assault, ripping further into her weary limbs. The swarm of monsters was everywhere she looked; she needed something solid to look at, but there was nothing. Grey and black blended together in her vision as her breaths picked up. She cast a glance at Yu, who looked to be losing as well.

"Please…" she whispered, not sure of what she was even wanting. He spared her a glance, his eyes wide as he stared at her. _Not him, please not him. I'm going to lose everything all over again. I'm going to lose him._

Cold seeped through her, opposite of the fire that normally burned through her weapon. It was the demon in her axe, coaxing her to give in. Invisible fingers squeezed at her heart, causing her to drop the weapon with a gasp. _It's no use though._

She felt herself dropping to the ground; she heard Yu scream as he ran towards her, but it was like she wasn't there. It was like she was watching her life through a window. As her vision started to fade to black, a large burst of fire surrounded them. She gasped as the cold left her, taking deep breaths.

Her gaze traveled upwards, to where she saw Yu holding his sword. A swirling vortex of fire surrounded them, coming from the weapon in his hands. Her eyes widened as she felt the warmth and looked around; how could something so destructive be so beautiful?

When the vortex died down, the lizard-like creatures were unmoving on the ground, a scorched mess of ash around them. She was distinctly aware of being supported by Yu's arm as she half-collapsed to the ground. Now that she had the chance to look at him, she realized he wasn't as badly injured as she had thought. _Must have just been my imagination._

The girl stared up at him, registering everything that had happened. With the realization came a new burst of embarrassment and anger. She pushed him away as fast as she could, trying to stand up. "Stop trying to protect me!" her voice rose to an angered shout as tears glistened in her eyes.

"What are you-?" Yu started to speak, but she shook her head, not giving him a change.

"I hate people like you the most!" she screamed, failing to support her own weight on her legs. She felt helpless and it was breaking her. "Why do you always have to sacrifice your safety to care about me?!"

"I was just trying to help!" Yu's irritated response drove the pain in her chest further until she felt like she was going to burst with the weight of it. She hated how he was hurt and bleeding in front of her.

"I hate you!" _Because you always put my safety before yours._

"I hate you!" _Because you are making the same mistake I did._

"I hate you!" _Because if you continue on like this, then I'll lose you too._

Her montage continued as she broke down crying, leaning against the tram wall amongst the ashes. "I hate you," her voice broke as she finally met his gaze, "but… I love you too."

As the words left her mouth, so did the pain. He looked at her as though he had heard her unspoken thoughts, as though he understood her completely. She didn't want him to help her; she didn't want him to come any closer, but he did.

Yu didn't say anything as he helped her to her feet, but she felt like she understood too. Maybe she couldn't help to ease his pain, but he would be the person that helped to ease hers. He would hold her together so that she wouldn't break. His green gaze seemed to say all she needed to know. _"I'll always be here."_

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Wow, so I really, really, _really_ enjoyed writing this~ Came off as a bit more angst than I originally intended, but I really liked it :D So, this is my first fanfiction pairing Yu and Mitsuba together (I definitely saw something there during the episode when she first comes in) and I'm not done with this pairing either :) I might have a few more things planned, but we'll see~ I hope everyone enjoyed this and please let me know what you thought!

-AnimeWolfGirl9


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